i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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