ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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