Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
