Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...