Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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(917): East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv http://tfl.nu/5gj0

Replies (19) Good night (1389) Bad night (586)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms

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(502): I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms http://tfl.nu/f928

Replies (30) Good night (599) Bad night (7395)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.

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(405): Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great. http://tfl.nu/oipw

Replies (53) Good night (4030) Bad night (1447)
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(949): View more from California

i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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(949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g

Replies (18) Good night (1126) Bad night (4288)
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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1

Replies (71) Good night (5677) Bad night (1308)
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(806): View more from Texas

That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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(806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l

Replies (8) Good night (2040) Bad night (3262)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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(316): I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day http://tfl.nu/h30u

Replies (16) Good night (1547) Bad night (3961)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line

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(401): Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line http://tfl.nu/kpx6

Replies (12) Good night (2910) Bad night (918)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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(403): Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed. http://tfl.nu/yrbs

Replies (7) Good night (984) Bad night (1600)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober

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(443): You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober http://tfl.nu/5fbb

Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (406)
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(210): View more from Texas

Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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(210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi

Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (472)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

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(720): I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer. http://tfl.nu/osbe

Replies (8) Good night (1466) Bad night (594)
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(517): View more from Michigan

passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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(517): passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/smsc

Replies (5) Good night (406) Bad night (723)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

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(604): Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money" http://tfl.nu/398x

Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (274)
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(916): View more from California

I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.

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(916): I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/dadk

Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (298)

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