Its about making memories worth repressing
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Enjoy the penises