Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (1235) Bad night (834)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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  (250): I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can. http://tfl.nu/1tw1
  Replies (16) Good night (3304) Bad night (809)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits

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  (201): "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits http://tfl.nu/qyqs
  Replies (54) Good night (4985) Bad night (690)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  dude...come out of the closet already

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  (912): i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS (1-912): dude...come out of the closet already http://tfl.nu/3iv6
  Replies (40) Good night (2053) Bad night (4670)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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  (617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj
  Replies (50) Good night (5113) Bad night (1739)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5465) Bad night (810)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (957) Bad night (2600)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.

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  (865): Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night. http://tfl.nu/cs1a
  Replies (22) Good night (689) Bad night (2942)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.

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  (419): He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab. http://tfl.nu/4t90
  Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (746)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.

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  (303): He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night. http://tfl.nu/mkun
  Replies (7) Good night (906) Bad night (1421)
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  (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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  (524): I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex. http://tfl.nu/y2h0
  Replies (6) Good night (428) Bad night (1693)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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  (406): We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors. http://tfl.nu/7kjk
  Replies (11) Good night (1150) Bad night (499)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.

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  (931): He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/egbd
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (233)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.

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  (917): He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever. http://tfl.nu/deln
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (446)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.

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  (586): And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile. http://tfl.nu/b369
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (158)

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