At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This baby is an asshole
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.