You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.