I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
