pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
