I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize