Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
