I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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