i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
