Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
