You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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