Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
