I am puke
I just saw a hot homeless man
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
