When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
