dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
