how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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