As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
