Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
