WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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