That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize