That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
