Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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