Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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