I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize