thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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