Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
