Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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