Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize