He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
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Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
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Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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