I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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