Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
