Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
