um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We named our party play list daddy issues
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
