my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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