In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
