Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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