yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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