I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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