Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
