idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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