what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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