as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
