..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
