i don't like sucking hair
If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.