my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
