i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We need a shit load of segways right now
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
