So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
