Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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