I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
