its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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