He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
