Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
