I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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