an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
