You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
