she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.