I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.