she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.