Everything about him screamed your future.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
