So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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