I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
