All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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